Define Nothing
by Lollipopleeches
Summary: Set in New Moon. Bella can't take the fact that Edward is gone, so she gets all of her memories of him erased. What happens when he finally comes back? I suck at summaries, so just read, k?
1. Loss of Mind

**Define Nothing**

_He smiled gently. "Don't worry. You're human-your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

_"And your memories?" I asked. It sounded like there was something caught in my throat, like I was choking._

_"Well…"-he hesitated for a short second-"I won't forget. But my kind…we're very easily distracted."_

_-_

_I tried to breathe normally. I needed to concentrate, to find a way out of this nightmare._

_"Goodbye, Bella," he said in the same quiet, peaceful voice._

_"Wait!" I choked out the word, reaching for him, willing my deadened legs to carry me forward._

_I thought he was reaching for me, too. But his cold hands locked around my wrists and pinned them to my sides. He leaned down, and pressed his lips very lightly to my forehead for the briefest instant. My eyes closed._

_"Take care of yourself." He breathed, cool against my skin._

_There was a light, unnatural breeze. My eyes flashed open. The leaves on a small vine maple shuddered with his passage._

_He was gone._

_Nothing,_ I thought. _nothing, nothing, nothing._ My hand clenched the ballpoint pen. Nothing could stop me today. I knew that going through with this wouldn't mean a thing to me afterward, but right now it meant everything.

I moved on to the next question. 'Please state the names of any spouses here.' It said. My stomach lurched, but I forced my hand to write

**None.**

I sighed. The questionnaire would be over soon, I couldn't put it off any longer. I honestly didn't want to forget about Edward. My memories with him were sweet, but they sent spikes of pain through me when I thought of them. Memory loss seemed like the only reasonable thing to do at this point.

I knew that he had left and that he was never coming back. I knew that I would never forget him as he said I would. My situation reminded me of a movie I saw not too long before I met him. I wanted my memory erased so I wouldn't remember my love, just like the man in the movie.

I finished the questionnaire and handed it to the receptionist. She looked over it dully and told me to take a seat.

As if I hadn't been tortured enough.

I sat in one of the red identical chairs, staring at the wall. I knew that if I waited long enough, I would come up with an excuse not to do this. It seemed like an eternity until my name was called.

"Isabella Swan?" a woman in a white coat stepped through the door, holding a clipboard.

"That's me." I said quietly. I stood up stiffly, but my feet didn't move. The woman smiled and said, "There's nothing to be afraid of, dear."

I took a step, then another, and another. Soon I was in a small white room with a wooden desk. The woman sat me down and walked over to her side of the desk. She spoke to me like I was a child.

"Isabella, my name is Dr. Clarkson, but you can call me April."

I nodded.

"Now, you already know that we are going to be removing certain memories from your head. The only problem is that we don't know which ones to erase. Do you mind telling me?" The way she spoke aggravated me. She talked slowly, as if I had mental problems and didn't understand what she was trying to say.

I ran her words through my head. Which memories? The ones involving him. I knew what I was supposed to be saying, but I couldn't will myself to say it. She stared at me, waiting for a response.

I knew that if I told her, she would try to get more information about him. I knew that I would have to tell her what he was like, and I couldn't do that. Not without my lunch coming back up, anyways. I took a deep breath, even though it shot pain through my scratchy throat.

It hurt, but I managed to choke out, "Edward." As soon as I did, I regretted it.

"Who?"

My mouth twisted into a forced smile. It just might have been believable if the rest of my face wasn't in complete horror. I knew that I would have to tell her sooner or later. "A…" A boy. A god. A person who ripped apart my heart, telling me that time would fix everything. My throat closed up as my eyes welled with tears.

Dr. Clarkson hurriedly rushed over to me. "Oh, Honey, it's okay. I know it's hard. Just let it all out." Her voice instantly went from annoying to comforting. I allowed the tears to come, to well up over my eyes and to fall down my face.

"He…left…" I managed to speak between my sobs. He left and took everything with him. He said goodbye as if nothing had happened between us. He went to someplace else; someplace far away from me.

Dr. Clarkson stroked my hair reassuringly. She hummed melodies, which would have calmed me down if it weren't for the memories it brought back. My lullaby. My beautiful lullaby, so sweetly hummed from him when I was in distress. But now he wasn't here to comfort me, and all I had was a stranger.

My crying slowed gradually, and when it stopped, I realized that if I just came out and told her as quickly as I could, the whole thing would be over in no time. Dr. Clarkson walked back to her chair. She sat facing me, then, with the same tone, said, "Are you ready to talk now, dear?"

I grimaced. This could be easy if I wanted it to be. I swallowed hard, then spoke.

"His name was Edward."

Even that was enough to make me feel horrible. She eyed me carefully, as if one wrong word could send me into hysterics.

"And…" she pushed, trying to squeeze out enough information.

"And…" I tried to keep my expression calm, but a ripple of pain shot across my face as I said, "I love him."

She continued on, obviously not noticing that I was anxious to be finished.

"And he loves you too?"

Every inch of my body ached to deny what I was about to say, but I knew that it was true.

"Loved."

She understood immediately and began to type out the details. I began to feel queasy as I realized that if they would erase my memories, they would have to see them, too. And they would see him in the sun. And they would find out his family's secret. I shook my head slowly. I couldn't do that to them.

"Is there some way that you can erase my memories…without seeing them? They're really…private."

Dr. Clarkson looked at her computer and fell silent.

"There is a way…but there might be some flaws…"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Some memories might slip out of our grasp…such as the way his face looks, or some place that you went together. It would simply be something that you would remember, but have no idea about."

I nodded. That would work. I wouldn't mind remembering his face, even if I didn't know who it was.

I did everything in my power not to think of his face, but it worked it's way into my mind anyway. His bronze hair, his pale skin, it was all so overwhelming. I shut my eyes as tight as they would go as I tried hard not to think of his face, but all I saw behind my eyelids were his perfect nose, his perfect lips…

"I want that one." I said.

"Okay. But I warned you. Some memories that slip may be stronger than others." She typed some more, then stood up. "I'll be waiting in the hallway for you. Take as much time as you need."

A few moments later, I was dazed from the sudden memories of us in the meadow for the first time, and how strange he had acted.

I put my head in my hands. Remembering was painful, but I wanted to remember him as much as I could before I could never remember him again.

My eyes shut, and everything played in my mind like a movie.

The first day I saw him, I remember thinking that he hated me. Oh, how wrong I was. And the first time that he kissed me. My breath caught. I could remember his cold hands seizing my face as he kissed me gently. He was always so gentle. Never wanting to exceed his limit.

And then there was prom. My eyes watered as I remembered standing on his feet as he gracefully danced like I never could. Like I never would. I smiled. It was a strange smile. It wasn't because I was happy, or glad or anything like that. I just knew that after this, everything would be so much easier.

I would actually be able to sleep, and I would have actual friends again.

Charlie didn't know about where I was right now, and I was hoping that he wouldn't find out. I was hoping that he would just think that I finally got over the concept of…

Edward.

I could think his name with ease. I sat up straight, staring at the wall again. I could actually think his name without feeling the knives through my chest. Knowing that I would forget all about him soon made everything seem easy.

"Edward." I spoke his name out loud. "Edward."

A large smirk crossed my face. This was stupid, and I knew it. Talking to the wall like I was. But I imagined him there in front of me, staring into my eyes. It didn't hurt to imagine.

"Edward. I can say your name without feeling pain now." I took a deep breath and held it.

"Edward, I'm erasing my memories of you. You hurt me way too much and I can't stand it. I love you. But obviously only I feel that way." I

I couldn't believe myself, talking to nothing. I laughed once, then stood and strode out the door, only to find Dr. Clarkson waiting for me across the hall.

I walked up to her quietly, and said

"I'm ready."


	2. Mistakes

The needle was up to my arm. This shot was supposed to put me asleep. I never did like needles, so I looked the other way as they injected the medication into me. Instantly I felt tired.

"Edward…" I murmured, fighting to stay awake. I shouldn't be doing this. I thought. Maybe someday he'll come back. I knew how untrue the words were, but the drugs were kicking in, and nothing was making sense. The room swirled and I closed my eyes.

"No…" my words were incoherent sounding, I couldn't understand them. I snapped my eyes back open, resisting. I wanted out. I didn't want to do it anymore. I loved him too much to just forget.

But my eyelids were too heavy, and they drooped closed. I was on the brink of losing consciousness.

"I love you…" were my last words before I drifted to another place…a place where Edward Cullen no longer existed.


	3. Silent Dreams

I awoke in a hospital bed.

My eyes widened. Everything was so blurry. A woman stood next to me, watching me.

"Where am I?" I asked.

The woman spoke to me like I was a child.

"Hi. I'm Dr. Clarkson. You're Isabella Swan, correct?"

I nodded, then repeated my question.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital. You fell down a flight of stairs and was knocked unconscious, don't you remember?"

I shook my head. "No, I don't."

Dr. Clarkson laughed, as if there was some inside joke I was missing out on. "Amnesia, maybe?"

I shrugged. "Probably. But I remember everything else about me…I thought amnesia blanked out my mind completely." I stated. My voice was stronger than usual, but I felt extremely tired.

"Not always, I guess." She smiled, a warm, comforting smile, but something about it made me feel sick. "Would you like us to bring you home now?"

I coughed.

"What about Charlie? Isn't he here?"

She looked at me for a while.

"Charlie Swan." I repeated his name.

"Your father?" she asked, blinking. Did she have any idea what was going on here?

"Yes, my dad. Where is he?" I asked angrily. Dr. Clarkson paused, then went into a full depth explanation.

"Your dad knows all about your accident. He waited around here forever for you to wake up, but you didn't. He just now left. He told us to just drive you home after giving us directions."

I stared at her. Charlie would never say something like that. Maybe it was a big day at his job and he couldn't pick me up. I turned my head to look the other way. "Fine."

It was embarrassing how they led me out of the building. One man in a suit kept his hand firmly around the back of my head, making it impossible to look around. So I was obliged to look straight ahead at my car. Wait. My car?

"Why is my car here?" I asked the man. I tried to look back at the building, but his hand kept me from doing so.

"…Your dad dropped it off." Dr. Clarkson said from behind, her footsteps quick.

"But I thought you said he just left." I said back. She paused, and I heard her footsteps stop.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Her footsteps started up again.

"I meant an hour or so ago. I'm terribly sorry. I overexagerate things."

I sighed and closed my eyes, letting the man lead me. I was too tired to care. All I could think of was my warm bed at home. The man released my head and my eyes snapped open. My truck was in front of us. I slumped over to the drivers side and got in, only to feel a strong arm of the man around my waist, hoisting me down from the truck.

"I'm driving." He said.

Déjà vu.

He pointed to the other side of the truck, the passenger side. It seemed too far away to walk, I was so tired. But I managed.

I climbed into the car, and before I shut the door, Dr. Clarkson bid me goodbye.

"Hope you feel better," she said.

I nodded, then shut the door and fell into unconsciousness, too tired to wonder how the keys were in the ignition already.

Snow. Everything was white in my dream, every house, every street, every person. They were all covered in snow. It was cold, Oh so cold in my dream. I shivered, noticing that I didn't have a coat or anything to keep me warm.

Blink, blink. Everyone else had coats and stockings. Why was it so cold? I closed my eyes for the briefest second, and when I opened them up again, all the snow was gone. But I was still cold.

A boy my age was hugging me, his face next to mine. His skin was too cold. Why was his skin so cold? It was as if he were made of snow. He pulled away from me slowly, looking into my eyes.

I gasped. His face was stunningly beautiful, more beautiful than any other person I've ever seen. His eyes were golden, a butterscotch, and his hair was bronze. He stared at me for a few long seconds, and I stared back. Then he pulled away, shaking his head.

"No." he said, but I couldn't hear him. Everything was quiet. Then we were falling, hand in hand, falling into the earth. Falling into a bottomless pit. I screamed at him,

Help! Help! Help me!

But he shook his head and let go of my hand. I reached back for him unsuccessfully. He was disappearing, disappearing into the blackness. My screams filled the air. I was alone now. I called out for him, calling him 'boy'.

"Where are you, boy? I need help! I need help!"

I screamed one last time, then everything went black. All was silent for many moments, until I heard my name.

"Bella."

The voice that said it was smooth as honey, a beautiful voice. It must have been the boy's. I called out for him, over and over, but I didn't hear anything. My voice was gone, I couldn't yell, I couldn't see. Everything was black.

Then, as loud as a whisper could be, he whispered

"Take care of yourself."

My eyes opened. We were still in my truck, driving. The heat was on as high as it would go. I turned to the man.

"Why is the heat on?"

He looked at me, surprised.

"Because you kept saying you were cold, then you screamed. I thought you were dying, miss."

I laughed once, then looked out the window.

We were on Charlie's street.

"What a weird dream…" I whispered to myself. The boy was stunningly handsome, and I could envision his face in my mind perfectly. I liked that I could do that. I liked seeing his face. But…

Who was this boy?


	4. Remembering

**Please take note that this chapter is amazingly suckish. But it's important. And Suckish. Except for the Edward point Of View, Cuz then it starts getting sad. :c**

I opened the door to the house and walked inside.

"Dad?" I yelled, feeling dizzy. I was suddenly tired again. There was no answer.

I looked out the window. His car was in the driveway, so he must have been home. Then, noticing how dark it was outside, I realized that he was probably asleep already. I lazily climbed the stairs. The thought of soon sleeping in my comfortable bed made me happy.

Reaching my room, I shut off the light and climbed into bed._ Tomorrow will be morning, and I will feel better,_ I thought. My eyes closed for many moments, but I couldn't fall asleep.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling. Why couldn't I fall asleep? I sure was tired enough. My eyes wandered down to the old rocking chair in the corner of my room.

I remembered someone sitting there, watching me. I just couldn't remember who. I knew that someone used to sit there…but I didn't remember it being Charlie.

I shook my head. I was probably just imagining things, considering how tired I was.

An hour passed, and I was still pushing my brain to remember. I needed sleep, so I went downstairs and got the cold medicine out of the cabinet. It was unnecessary, I wasn't really sick, but I needed the drugs to fall asleep…

Not too long after, the medication kicked in. I was laying in my bed, still trying with all my might to remember who had always watched me in that chair. I gave up and easily fell into a dreamless sleep.

_**Edward's POV.**_

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to see Bella.

I left her for her safety, and I knew that it was wrong to be going back. But I just had to see her again, to be with her. I didn't know if she would accept me again, because of what I did. And if she hated me…I guess I'd understand.

But I loved her too much. I had to see her again.

I would wait one more day.

One more day and I would go back to my Bella, and our lives could go back to normal. One more day.

_**Bella's POV.**_

My eyes opened reluctantly the next morning. I was dissapointed in the fact that the boy wasn't in my dreams that night. I really did like it, dreaming about him, whoever he was. I was just surprised that my imagination came up with such a beautiful face.

Making breakfast was easy, even though I was tired. Cereal didn't suit my appetite, so I made an omelet.

I ate by myself because Charlie was at work already, and as I ate, I stared at the stairs. I still didn't remember falling down them, but i did remember fainting there. When did I faint? I chewed solfly, tyring to remember. Why was this happening so much?

I breifly remember being kissed there. I swallowed. That would have been impossible; I didn't have a boyfriend, and I didn't like anyone. And the only boy I could think of that would be in my house (other than Charlie) was Jacob, but that would have been many, many years ago when we were little.

The old wooden clock on the wall read 10:27 AM. I sighed. Going back to sleep seemed like the best thing to do right now, but going to the store would take my mind off of things. We needed more milk, and I wouldn't mind buying myself some books.

I got in my car and turned the key. The truck roared to life, starteling me a bit. Driving off, I looked down at the stereo, but...

There wasn't a stereo. Just an aray of tangled wired and fuses. I fingered each wire at a stop light, wondering what had happened. Had someone stole it? I didn't even remember having a stereo here, but I sure as heck didn't remember _this._

My jaw clenched as the light turned green and I lurched forward. I hated not remembering things. Maybe it really _was _amnesia, like the doctor said.

The parking lot to the store was jam-packed. It took my forever to find a place to park, and when I finally found a space, a different car was fighting me for it. Unfortuantly, I lost. The car that got the space was a new silver Volvo. I remembered somebody that I knew had one. But I couldn't remember who. I didn't recognize the driver, and old woman, so I figured that it was just my memories acting up again. I really, really hated this.

I got milk from the store, and some books, too. I was walking to the checkout line when I saw the prescription isle, with alot of medication on the shelves. I sighed and brought my shopping cart to a hault. There were all kinds of drugs for colds and the flu, but I found a shelf on memory loss after searching. All of the medication said that they did not treat all types of amnesia, and, since I had no idea what type mine was, I started to walk away, but someone familiar caught my eye.

"Angela!"

She turned. She was holding two bottles of Tylenol, one green and one red.

"Hey, Bella," She said, holding the Tylenol up to me, "What's the difference between these two?"

I shrugged.

"Ben is sick...and I came here to get him medicine..." She said, really concentrating.

I helped her out, talking to her and starting conversations. I didnt understand when she said, "You sure do seem happy today."

She invided me over to her house, and figuring that I had nothing else to do, I agreed.

When I got home that night, Charlie was watching TV...as normal.

"Where were you, Bells?"

I walked over and sat down next to him.

"I was over at Angela's house. We watched some movies and stuff, " I waved my hand, "no big deal."

Charlie grunted. "It's nice to see you finally hanging out with your friends again."

I didn't understand what he meant, but I chose to ignore him instead of asking.

"Do you want me to make you dinner?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"Already ate."

I looked at the clock. It was already 8:30, but it was still too early to sleep. I didn't care. "I'm going to sleep."

He looked at me funny. "This early?"

I nodded.

"Okay. Night."

I stood and walked up the stairs, remembering about this morning when I couldn't remember who had kissed me and why I had fainted. I let the subject go. It really didn't matter, anyway.

I sat on my bed. _what to do, what to do..._ I sang to myself. I saw my battered copy of Wuthering Heights on the ground, pages open. I picked it up and began to read until I got tired. (I don't know how many hours later.) I looked out my door, too make sure Charlie was asleep, (he was) then I shut my door and crawled under my covers.

My room felt stuffy, like there was no fresh air. I eyed the window in the side of my room. Burgalers couldn't climb through a window that high up, right?

I got up and unlocked the window, opening it. Instantly I felt better. The fresh air felt good in my lungs, knocking out that weird feeling. I turned off the light on my nightstand and got in bed again.

It didn't take long at all to fall asleep that night.

**Aw! Eddie's gonna come now! Keep reading!**


	5. Edward's Return

**Thank you for the reviews c: And now...the moment you've all been waiting for...  
EDDIE'S RETURN!**

**_It switches POV's alot, so pay close attention!_**

**_Edward's POV._**

I stood outside Bella's house and glared up at her window. It was open as wide as it would go.

I felt a pang of guilt. What had I done? What if she hated me?

no. she wouldn't hate me. why else would her window be open, inviting me to come inside?

I found no other logical reason other than she missed me and was waiting for me to come back. I took a step towards the house, and smiled. I was finally going to see Bella again. I was going to see her, and I was going to tell her how much I loved her and how sorry I was. Then everything would go back to normal.

It took milliseconds for me to climb up to her window and to get inside. She was there, sleeping.

And oh, how beautiful she was. Her hair was the exact same color, her skin the exact same tint. The covers to her bed were pulled up to her chin.

I reached out my arm and carefully stroked her cheek. She mumbled something incoherant and turned over. Her voice...It made something click inside my head, making me immediatly relax. She was safe. She was here. With me.

I layed down on her bed and put my arms around her, closing my eyes. I inhaled the scent of her skin, sweet as it was. Over and over I repeated her name.

"Bella..." I said, stroking her cheek with my thumb. "Bella, I'm here."

Looking at her perfect human face, I think

_God, How I love her._

**_Bella's POV._**

It was cold in my dream. Very cold. Again, I didn't have a coat or a hat to keep me warm. Instead I had a blanket wrapped around me.

There wasn't any snow this time. Just the boy hugging me again. I couln't see his face, but I could hear his voice, saying my name.

"Bella..." He said, over and over. "Bella, I'm here."

He pulled back, and I saw his face again. His beautiful golden eyes lured me into his gaze. He stared at me, and, again, I stared back.

"Who...who _are _you?" I whispered.

**_Edward's POV._**

"Who...who_ are_ you?" she whispered.

"It's me, Bella. It's Edward. See?" I placed my snow cold hand against her face.

**_Bella's POV._**

The boy reached out and set his hand on my cheek. "It's me, Bella." he said, "It's Edward. See?"

My hand reached up and cupped itself over his, holding it in place.

"Edward?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yes."

I looked at him. "Why are you here?"

**_Edward's POV._**

"Why are you here?" she asked.

Ouch.

Spikes of pain were sent through my chest. Didn't she realize? I leaned over and looked at her face.

She was sound asleep. I laughed once. She was just sleep-talking again. I shook her shoulder.

"Bella, wake up."

**_Bella's POV._**

My eyes snapped open. I turned my head slowly. It was so dark in my room. What time was it?

Something cold brushed my face.

"Bella?"

I screamed. Someone was in my room. I knew I shouldn't have opened my window. I knew it.

I jumped out of bed and ran to the corner of my room. As I grabbed my lamp, yanking the plug out of the wall, he spoke.

"Bella? It's me."

I threw my lamp at him with all my strength anyway. I heard the light bulb break, and I screamed again.

"Bella!" he said, quietly but feircly. "Shh! You'll wake Charlie!"

I screamed once more, as loud as I could. I _wanted _Charlie to wake up and come in here with his gun. I wanted him to shoot the man in my room. I wanted help.

The man got up out of the bed soudlessly and walked up to me, his hands in the air. I could see the outline of his body, but none of his features.

"Bella. Please."

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them to my sides, then he leaned down and kissed me. His lips were so cold, as if they were frozen. I pulled away from him, scared out of my mind, but his hands still kept hold of my wrists. I didn't conect the dots for what was happening. I was panicing.

"Rapist!" I screamed, trying with all my might to get free. I didn't want to get hurt the way that I thought he was going to hurt me.

As soon as I said the word, he let go and backed away.

"I'm Edward, Bella. Edward." he said, calm.

"I don't care what your freaking name is!" I yelled at him, "Get out of here! My dad's a cop!"

He remained calm.

"I know Bella. I know who Charlie is. Please listen to me."

I shut my mouth and remained quiet.

"I know it was wrong of me to do what I did. But you have to understand that I love you and I can't stand to be away from you anymore. I'm sorry. I understand that you are mad at me. Please...just calm down." he said. I breathed in sharply.

"What?" I asked, quieter now.

"I love you, Bella."

"But...I've never even seen you before..." Nothing was making sence. Now it was his turn.

"What? No. Bella. I'm Edward. I'm back." he said, confused. I heard a _rattle, clank _as he put my lamp back together (changed the light bulb,) and switched it on.

It was him.

The boy from the dreams.

**I'm sorry the chapter was so long, and I'm sorry that the POV's changed so much. Review plzzzz :p**


	6. He's real?

**Note: The reson why Charlie didn't get up when Bella was screaming was because he was so used to her screaming from her dreams every night, he came to ignore it.**

"You're from my dream…" I whispered, forgetting any kinds of self-defence I was storing up. I laughed once. Thank God, this was just another dream. When I woke up everything would be back to normal.

Edward 's face twisted into a strange expression. "What?"

"You don't excist, Edward." I smiled hugely. Maybe if I made him confused enough he would visit my dreams more often.

A look of mock horror swept over his face.

"Bella, don't say that. I said I was sorry. How hard is it to forgive me?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about…" I walked over to my bed and layed down, closing my eyes. I wanted to wake up now. The whole panic attack thing made me exhausted. "I'm waking up now." I murmured against my bedsheets.

**Edward's POV.**

"What? Bella, are you okay? You're talking nonsence."

And she was. I knew that I had made her mad at me, maybe even possibly hate me, but the things that she was saying made absolutly no sence at all.

I placed my hand up against her forehead. It was warm, in the human way. She wasn't sick at all.

I let her fall back asleep, hoping that the next day she would start acting like herself again.

As I used to do, I sat in the rocking chair in the corner of her room, watching her sleep. She talked some, but nothing too interesting. I looked at her, thinking about what she had said to me.

_You don't excist, Edward._

I placed my head in my hands. God, I screwed up. Why did I leave her in the first place? I should have known that something like this would happen.

And then I swore, right then, that I would never again in a million years leave Bella Swan.

Charlie opened the door to check on Bella before he left for work. I was right outside her window, waiting for him to leave. And when he did, I crawled back inside and sat next to Bella on the bed.

Why was she acting that way?

I tortured myself for what seemed like endless hours with what she said.

_You don't excist._

_You don't excist._

My eyes wandered to her face. She was beautiful, more beautiful than ever as the rain dripping down the window made rippling patters, reflections down her face, her neck…

Her eyes flashed open, and immediately started to stare at me.

"You're still here? Wow, it's hard to wake up from dreams." She closed her eyes again and rolled over, facing away from me.

"What do you _mean_, Bella? Nothing you say is making sence!" I said, loudly. No one to wake up, now.

"I mean that I'm dreaming. You're my imagination."

I double-tracked. This was heartbreaking.

"No, love. You're awake. I'm here." I reached out my arms to embrace her.

She sat up and let me wrap my stone cold arms around her, stroking her hair.

"I'm here, Bella. I'm here."

**Bella's POV.**

Why was the boy comforting me? He was ensuring me that he was 'here,' and that I was awake. How could I be awake? This boy was a dream. There was no way he could have been real.

But everything was real about him; his eyes, his hair, his voice, his cold embrace.

I reached my hands up and let my fingers wind themselves through his hair, pulling him to face me. It was him, the beautiful boy from my dreams, no doubt about it. He ducked his head so that his lips reached mine, and soon I was kissing him.

I threw myself at him, making the most I could out of the kiss. He kissed me back with just as much enthusiasm, making me dizzy. What was his name? Edward? My lips parted and I whispered his name. Was I awake? This sure didn't feel like a dream.

My head was suddenly back on my pillow, his face inches from mine.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?"

He shifted his body so that he was laying down next to me.

"For leaving you."

I didn't understand. He just got here.

"When did you leave me?"

**Edward's POV.**

"When did you leave me?" She asked.

I shook my head slowly. What was wrong with her?

"A couple months ago."

She laughed once.

"I didn't even _know_ you a couple months ago."

"Yes, you did."

"No, I didn't. I just met you in my dream two days ago. And now I'm meeting you in person. It's breathtaking, really." She muttered.

Something was wrong with her, something big.

"Come on." I said, grabbing her up out of bed and swinging her onto my back.

"Where are we going? I'm still in my pajamas..." she asked.

"That doesn't matter. We'll be there soon, anyway."

She nodded, then said 'okay.'

"Close your eyes." I warned her. She shut her eyes tight and buried her face into the back of my neck.

"Why?" she asked.

"We're going to my house. Just don't open your eyes. We'll be there soon." I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"But why do I have to close my eyes?"  
"Because we're running." I knew that she wouldn't understand. I walked out of her front door slowly.

"Running?"

"Yes."

And I ran.


	7. Vampires

**This chapter is ultra-suckish. suckish. I hate my writing in this chapter, but I'm too tired to change it, and it's important.**

**Bella's POV.**

I forgot to close my eyes. Really, I should have listened to the boy when he told me. I should have closed my eyes.

He came to a stop only seconds later, and we were outside of a large white house. I would have been astounded by the view if I wasn't focusing on trying not to throw up.

The world was swirling around me, and I felt like my whole head was shaking uncontrollably. The ground came swirling up to my face, or rather, my face to the ground, but the boy caught me before I actually hit the ground.

"Didn't close them, did you?"

I shook my head slowly. "N-no…"

He swept me up in his arms and cradled me like a baby.

"How did you run that fast?" I asked. It had only taken him seconds, and we ran so far…

He looked at me, his expression torn.

"Bella…" he whispered, "You don't…remember?"

I shook my head.

I did, though, remember zooming through the forest at that amazing speed. I just couldn't remember how. I sighed. It happened again; me remembering something, but not knowing anything about. When would it stop?

Edward led my inside the house, his house, and whispered to me,

"Watch."

I nodded. Seeing his cool super powers was entertaining.

He looked at me disapprovingly. Then in a very low, hushed voice, he whispered,

"Carlisle."

A young man with blonde hair appeared at the top or their staircase instantly.

I struggled to get down from Edward's arms and onto the floor as the man descended the staircase.

"Hey, it's Bella." He said, looking at me. I froze, and turned my head slowly to meet his gaze.

"You know my name?" I asked. Maybe that was his super power, knowing people's names. I thought of how dead-beat that would be on a crime scene.

Now I wasn't so convinced that I was awake. Super-powers weren't real.

The man, named Carlisle, stared at me, an 'I-can't-believe-she's-asking-me-this' look on his face.

"Of course I know you're name." He said, looking at Edward. Their gaze held for a moment, then Edward nodded.

"Bella, this is Carlisle. He's my…dad. He's a doctor, and he's going to find out what is wrong with you." He said, motioning with a hand to Carlisle.

I grimaced. "Nothing is wrong with me."

There was a pause in the conversation.

"You probably think that we're superhero's or something," Carlisle said, smiling.

"Well, yeah. You guys have super powers," I pointed my thumb at Edward. "He's cold and can run fast. And he can talk real quiet and everyone can hear him. I think."

Edward smiled sadly. "All of us can do that."

A small girl with spiky black hair bounced down the stairs, and Edward moaned. "She's not going to take this well."

"What am I not gonna take well?" she asked in an innocent voice.

"Who are you?" I asked her. She was at least a few inches shorter than me, and her pixie haircut flew out in all directions. I thought I asked the question politely enough, but her face fell at my words.

"Wh-what?"

I felt terrible for making her sad after she was just so happy.

"I'm sorry…it's just I don't know any of this and everyone keeps saying that I don't remember but I swear that I've never been here before!" I said it all so quick.

Carlisle opened his eyes wide, then looked at Edward and the girl.

"Try to jog her memory, and I'm going to try and find out what happened, okay?"

They nodded. Carlisle walked away and they turned to me. The girl held out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Alice."

I slowly reached out my arm and took her hand in mine.

"I'm Bella…Nice to see you…again…I think." I said, making a fool out of myself. She laughed. Edward didn't talk, he just stared at me with a wistful expression. Alice looked at him, and he turned his head to look at her. She stayed silent, then he said, "Yes…please."

Alice left, skipping away into another room.

Edward took my hand. "Can I show you something?"

I nodded.

He led me over to the piano, and sat me down next to him. His hands stretched across the keys. "Let's see if you remember this…"

His started to play. It was a familiar melody, one that I've heard before. It almost sounded like a lullaby. I leaned into his side, snuggling my head in his arm.

God, he smelled good.

"Recognize it?" he asked me. I shook my head.

"Not really. It seems familiar, though. But I don't remember you playing it."

He frowned.

"Is anything else like that? Like you remember it, but you don't know much about it?" he asked me. I looked up at him. That's exactly what happened all the time. I nodded, smiling.

"Yes! That's been happening ever since…" I thought about it, "Two days ago."

**Edward's POV.**

My eyes widened, and I grabbed her shoulders with my hands.

"Tell me about it, please."

She looked away from me.

"Well…I remembered that someone used to sit in my rocking chair and watch me sleep, but I couldn't remember who…I remember that I fainted near the stairs because someone kissed me, but I couldn't remember who again.…I remembered someone driving a silver Volvo, but…I couldn't remember who. Again."

The whole time she was talking, I was shaking my head in disbelief.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me.

"That was me, Bella. All of those were me."

She pulled away, looking at me.

"You mean, you kissed me and made me faint. You watched me at night. _And_ you drive a silver Volvo."

I smiled. "Yes."

But she didn't look as happy as I felt. She nervously looked around, frowning.

"But…I don't _know _you. Or your family. I don't remember you guys, and…the whole super powers thing is a little much. I'm still dreaming." She said, "This is all just one big dream."

I frowned. How could I get it through to her that this was real, that I was back? I told her to wait, and I walked away to go see Carlisle.

"She doesn't remember me, but she remembers me." I said to him, "I'm confused."

Carlisle listened as I told him about what Bella said to me, about how she remembered my car but not me driving it, and about how she remembered the lullaby but didn't remember me playing it. Carlisle thought for a moment, then spoke.

"Edward." He said. I looked up at him.

"She got her memories erased. All of them containing you. I'm positive."

I never really thought of what the expression 'breaking my heart' would feel like, not until that moment when I could feel the pain radiating in my chest at my heart was ripped in two.

"What do we do?" I asked him.

"Bring her in here."

**Bella's POV.**

Edward called my name from the kitchen. I stood stiffly. This whole morning felt like a dream, being played out piece by piece.

I had to tell Carlisle practically everything I told Edward, and then some. I had to tell him the exact date that I began remembering things, and what happened that day. So I told him about the woman telling me that I fell down the stairs, and how I was really tired the whole way home, and about my first dream with Edward in it.

Carlisle paused when I was done.

"What was the woman's name that was talking to you, Bella?"

I fought to remember. I was so tired that day.

"Um…," I thought some, then remembered, "Dr. April Clarkson."

Carlisle gasped.

"I was right!" he said, looking at Edward. "I worked with Dr. Clarkson not too long ago." He turned to me, "She works for a company that erases memories."

Erases memories? I got my memories erased? I looked at Edward, who looked terrible.

"Tell her about things, Edward. Try to get her to remember."

Edward sat me down and looked into my eyes. I looked away from him, uncomfortanble being the center of attention. Where was that Alice girl now?

"Bella, look at me."

I did.

"I'm a vampire." He said.

**Okay, I know that this chapter was poorly written, but I'm so out of it right now, I don't know why. Sorry.**


End file.
